Slow and Steady Goes The Hare?

So I keep on seeing videos of insanely fast turtles pop up on my Facebook news feed. Such as… this one!


I have gone through my entire life thinking that turtles and tortoises alike were incredibly slow.

And it’s gotten me thinking about the old Tortoise and the Hare fable. Maybe the tortoise wasn’t slow and steady after all. Maybe he knew an alternate route, or blended into the background or some shit and sped the fuck past the hare while he was taking his nap. Sounds like this old tale needs to be rewritten. What do you guys think?

Maybe turtles are just smarter than all of us and have been faking us out for hundreds of years. Making us THINK that they can’t do certain jobs, or have an evolutionary purpose; but in reality they’re beating us at our own game.

Hats off to you turtles; thanks for lying to me my entire life.

Enoshima Aquarium, Japan


And here’s a bonus fun fact about Sea Turtles!

I’m assuming all of you have seen, or are going to see Finding Dory! Crush; the sea turtle that I always presumed was shown as a “surfer dude” because he’s set in California, is seen as “high” for a pretty scientifically accurate reason.

Sea turtles actually eat the jellyfish because the poisons in jelly fish aren’t harmful to the sea turtles. Instead it creates a similar reaction that marijuana does in humans, a “high”. So the next time you see a sea turtle, go ahead and pet it. They’re pretty chill, seeing as they’re high all the time.


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