Just sit down on your computer and write, they say; it will all just naturally flow to you.
Yet sometimes I wonder if it’s not “flowing” because everything real and raw is buried so deep within me that it would have to dig and crawl by its fingertips for miles to reach half of the distance in my mind where I might even be semi-conscious of it.
“Just write what you feel”
But… I feel everything. All the time. It’s hard to separate my feelings from those around me.
When a dog yelps in fear I can feel my heart beat quicken. If I see a child’s tear fall, my own eyes start to moisten.
Yet I would change none of it.
For when someone is rejoiced on the birth of their child, I can see them holding their new born in their arms and celebrate with honesty. When a single mother graduates college I can feel how much effort, and heart ache it took to get her to that graduation stand and I too stand tall with her. When a family is enjoying a birthday meal for their youngest at the local restaurant I can look at each and every one of the members of that family and say, “I too am a part of you.”
These feelings might make me over emotional, and I’ve been told many a times that I am “too” dramatic or “too” sensitive but I would take my “too” many feelings over the dread and the disparity of mind numbing depression any day.