About a year ago when my husband and I were visiting his family in South Carolina, we stumbled across a corny little “10 Rules of Marriage” sign in a little hole-in-the-wall souvenir shop. At first we didn’t take it to seriously because it’s hard to take anything with a grain of salt when it’s posted up on the wall next to the souvenir shot calls and “My Aunt Bought Me This!” t-shirts. However, after reading through the list it had both of us silent with the truth. Even now from time to time when we start to bicker or a fight seems imminent, we look at this dinky little sign and reevaluate (if it didn’t already get too heated.)
Never both be angry at the same time.
-This will solve exactly nothing. If you’re angered to the point where you might say something you regret; take a step back, breathe, and communicate when able.
- Never yell at each other unless the house is on fire.
– Although it may be cathartic, yelling at one another also solves nothing. All it does is fuel more anger and create an environment of disrespect.
If one of you has to win an argument, let it be your mate.
-My husband will roll his eyes like no other when he sees me commenting on this one. I, like many wives out there, are very stubborn and like to be right most, or all of the time. But it might do good to look back and remember what’s really important; winning the argument, or the happiness of your partner.
4. If you have to criticize, do it lovingly.
– You are married to support one another, not tear each other down. Constructive criticism can go a long way; but make sure your partner knows it comes out of a place of love and support.
5. Never bring up mistakes of the past.
– I’m sure your husband doesn’t appreciate it when you bring up those dishes he forgot to wash last week (for the FIFTH time), just as I don’t appreciate it when my husband brings up the clothes I neglected to wash. The past is in the past; leave it there.
6. Neglect the whole world rather than each other.
– Love and support will travel miles; best to be on the ride together.
7. Never go to sleep with an argument unsettled.
– At some point that unfinished argument (or spirited disagreement) will pop back up in another fight.
8. At least once every day try to say one kind or complimentary thing to your life’s partner.
– You love them so show it! An extra compliment ever hurt anybody, and only inflated a few egos.
9. When you have done something wrong, be ready to admit it and ask for forgiveness.
– Undoubtedly one of the most important rules on this list. You must have some degree of maturity to be in this serious relationship so own up to your mistakes. You may think you’re hurting your pride, but all you’re really doing is just hurting your partner but not apologizing when you’re wrong.
10. It takes two to make a quarrel, and the one in the wrong is the one who does the most talking.
– Ladies, this one is for us. Think of the last time you were legitimately in the right during an argument. How much talking did you do? Exactly.